Friday, October 22, 2010
Notes to the Lord: On Following From a Distance
57Those who had arrested Jesus took him to Caiaphas, the high priest, where the teachers of the law and the elders had assembled.
Lord Jesus--I wonder where Judas left the group? Or did he follow right back to his supposed friends among the elders. They had gotten what they wanted from him and and he was yesterday news.
He was paid for his work and his usefulness was finished. It was when he was alone with his thoughts that Judas had to face what he had done. When the guilt crashed in on him he had nothing to hold on to...but a rope.
58But Peter followed him at a distance, right up to the courtyard of the high priest. He entered and sat down with the guards to see the outcome.
Lord Jesus--Peter so often reminds me of myself. Like Peter I am drawn to you. There is a connection that time and the changes of life have only strengthened. Yet at the same time, I want to minimize the risk...or maybe a better word would be I want to manage the risk that you bring in my life.
That is the rub isn't? You are the one who protects and guides and I am not the one who needs to worry about the outcome. Peter followed he could not stop himself and yet he was in the worst of all worlds because he followed at a distance.
I don't think that it was fear of physical suffering that tripped brother Peter up...I think it was more fear of the unknown. Fear of what would happen if he owned his relationship with you. Fear of embarrassment?
What was the worst that could have happened? That he was on the cross next to you? He ended up on a cross anyway a few years later. Peter followed from a distance to see what the outcome would be and yet not be touched by it. It is just not possible to follow and not be changed by the following. There is no safe distance to follow you from and remain unchanged.
Forgive me Lord when I distance from you. I can meander so easily and sometimes not even notice...and then there are those times when it is on purpose. Forgive me when I take my hand out of yours.
Lord Jesus--In the day that will start very soon help me to follow with grace and determination.