Friday, October 29, 2010

Notes to the Lord:Tears


69Now Peter was sitting out in the courtyard, and a servant girl came to him. "You also were with Jesus of Galilee," she said.70But he denied it before them all. "I don't know what you're talking about," he said.

Lord Jesus--You knew from the first time that you met Peter that this night was coming in this life. This fall from grace was on his journey. You told him of it and yet he seemed unable to avoid it. The theological arguments continue to swirl as to if it could have been differennt. What is clear is the cost of this interchange.

Do the circumstances of our lives form who we are, or just reveal them? The make up of Peter was impulsivity, emotion and action all rolled up in one. His thoughts about his actions seem to have been somewhere along the road as he was looking in his rear-view mirror.

It was icing on the cake that he denied his relationship with you to a servant girl. The big, impulsive ex-fisherman could not tell the truth to a little servant girl. I wonder if Peter even noticed what he had done at this point in the events of this evening.

71Then he went out to the gateway, where another girl saw him and said to the people there, "This fellow was with Jesus of Nazareth." 72He denied it again, with an oath: "I don't know the man!"

Lord Jesus--I wonder when Peter started to get the feeling that he was dancing on a cliff with nowhere to fall but down? Was it when this second girl walked up to him? Maybe it was when he heard himself using the old language that had not been a part of his daily life while with you...I have to believe it was the old language coming out of his mouth.

73After a little while, those standing there went up to Peter and said, "Surely you are one of them, for your accent gives you away." 74Then he began to call down curses on himself and he swore to them, "I don't know the man!"

Lord Jesus--Thankfully we don't have the audio of this event. I am sure it would not be the kind of sound bite that could be used in worship.

This incident is so raw and excuses, no back peddling from the edge. Just the truth in all of its hurt and pain. Peter falling head long into one of the biggest hurts of his life. There would be other's...a church dinner in Galatia was coming...and a cross somewhere near Rome if church tradition is right.

But for now there are these three people each with a face that was etched into Peter's memory forever...this was Peter's reality.

Immediately a rooster crowed. 75Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken: "Before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times." And he went outside and wept bitterly

Lord Jesus--I think I get the tears part of is after the fact when the truth of the reality and it's cost is setting in that emotion comes. His tears were cried alone somewhere outside the meeting of the place of the Sanhedrin. Did Peter ever walk by that corner and remember those tears? Did they change him? Without your grace they were just bitter tears.

Lord Jesus--Thank you for your forgiveness which reaches me right in the middle of my bitter tears.

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